What do you do when you sit down with your few to start group and they are:
- not focused
- look bored to death
- tired
- on their phones
- listen to music on the BEATS
- fighting or gossiping
- watching youtube on their phones
- braiding each other’s hair
- punching holes in the wall
- fidgeting with the pillows
- farting
- screaming or crying
- and the list can keep going on and on…..and on and on and on…
What do you do? How do you possibly reign them in to have a spiritual conversation? Yes. I know that “all things are possible through Jesus” but getting your few to focus is sometimes a challenge.
Trust me—I experience this small group situation at least once a month and I am pretty sure you do, too. Well a few weeks ago, my co-leaders and I met after group and we clarified how to best manage our few when our few are wanting to do everything but have small group.
Here’s what we came up with for when our few are not focused:
Set the stage. Communicate to your group that group is starting now. Acknowledge that they are distracted and that’s okay. Request that they give you 15 minutes and that is it. Get all the students to agree that they can focus for 15 minutes. If any of them become disrespectful during the 15 minutes he/she will have to come sit by one of the leaders.
Ask an icebreaker question. After your group has agreed to give you 15 minutes, ask an interactive question. My favorite question is: What is your favorite “appropriate” youtube video. Don’t let your student show you the video on their phones. You as the leader record everyone’s favorite video and tell them you will text them everyone’s favorite video after group in a complied list.
Ask a question about the talk. Now tell your few you are shifting gears from videos to what the communicator from stage talked about. Ask questions like: what did you like about the talk? What didn’t you like about the talk? Summarize the talk in 1 or 2 sentences. What is one thing you learned from the talk.
Ask a question about the Bible versed used in the talk. It is important to bring your students back to the scriptures. Ask them about the passage the communicator talked about. Ask questions like: What is the main point of the passage? What in the passage didn’t you understand? What’s God saying to you in the verse?
Ask your few for prayer request. After the Bible talk transition with the question of: How can we pray for one another? What is your one personalized prayer request?
Invite your few to pray in silence for all the prayer requests. Once all the prayer request have been given. Invite your few to pray in silence for 60 seconds. After the 60 seconds is up, one of the leaders prays out loud to close the group.
There you go. That’s what my co-leaders and I came up with. So far this template has helped us think through how to re-direct our distracted group to have a somewhat productive group.
What is the one thing your few do to get your group off of topic?
What would you suggest to a SGL who cannot seem to focus their group?
Would you agree with our model? What would you add, delete, edit?
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This is semi-related.
I love the idea of asking about their favourite youtube video (or whatever internet thing they’re into) and then texting the group later.
Unfortunately, the group me and my co-leaders hangout with are grade six and seven boys. Two of them have phones, even less have iPods touches, and then the rest do not have any way for me to contact them (or so it seems).
Do you have an article already on how to stay in touch with them outside of group? If not, how would you suggest tackling the communication issue in regards to the strategy lined out in this article. I would really love to show up unexpectedly throughout the week with fun things like youtube videos or vine or whatever, but I don’t know how I would get stuff to my teens.
Thanks!
Hunter
Hey Hunter, totally feel ya on this issue! I am a Middle School Youth Pastor here in Lubbock, Texas and I had the same problem with students not having phones or facebooks. But I found a solution, I started texted their parents on a regular basis.
At first it was just reminders of events and seeing if the student needed a ride to church. Then now it has become a huge ministry for me just asking how the family is doing, having dinner with them and doing life together. Then you can share all kinds of encouragement (and even YouTube videos if you want to).
So my advice to connect to your younger students, is to connect with the parents via phone and social media and even in person! Hope this helps!
We connect with the parents.
The concern you have is very valid: I am a new SGL, older than most, and a bit old-fashioned teacher w/o u-tube, Twitter, texting. As Ice Breaker question I would address the win (loss) of a local sports team; what was right/wrong,
what would you do to remedy. The rest of your article has some very good ideas, but to one thing I would VERY MUCH object: Yes, acknowledge the distraction, but DO NOT label it o.k.!!! We are here not to entertain ourselves and take a few minutes out to learn. To ask their permission for 15 minutes of attention, I feel, is DEGRADING for teenagers. That is a legitimate time limit for Kindergardeners or Firstgraders but NOT for Teens. Is this all they are capable of??? I really feel this is unfair and does not give them enough credit for their abilities.
Well, like I said, maybe I have some old fashioned expectations of what our young people are truly capable of. Herta
I love this article! The thing is they weren’t labeling the distraction as okay. They were saying it’s okay to point out that they are distracted. Besides they are kids and teenagers, they get distracted. As far as the 15 minutes, I work with middle school girls and the 15 minutes thing is legitimate. Yes we would all like to believe that they are capable of more (and sometimes they are) but that isn’t always the case. Honestly it all really depends on your group age, gender, size, and relationship between the students. I promise it’ll all work or for you! Some meetings you’ll have a hard time getting them to focus and others they will fully engage and they won’t want to leave. Regardless you’re making a difference in a generation. I pray that your voice would carry weight in your students lives.